Self Pity

You know the worst part of self-pity?

You know the truth already.

(Or what you think is true)

You know you are wrong.

(but those thoughts are still there)

So, you ask someone else.

(And feel guilty the whole time)

You hope that they won’t judge you

(at least, not like you judge yourself)

and hope that maybe they understand.

(and don’t think you’re begging for attention)

You just need someone else to tell you things,

(because you can’t force yourself to believe them)

validate who you are.

(when you can’t)

Why?

What is it about you that draws me in?

Why is it that I think about you constantly?

What makes you so special?

When the rest of

All the world remains?

I think you matter more than

I am brave enough

To admit

To myself.

Something about you shimmers

In my eyes,

Something

Special

About you

Makes you a part of my mind

Forever imprinted on my heart

Forever sounding

In my ears

Those words, not words of love

But the short words

Between us

That make up my day

And fill my heart with painful beats

And a face of crimson red

That I hide none too well

With words and laughs

Brought on by my fear

That this will change

And you will reject me

Which is why

You may never know

How much

You

Mean to me