Something Said

Something I hear a lot:

Not enough.

Not good enough.

Not strong enough.

Not sick enough.

Wait-

Not sick enough?

What does that mean?

I am sick.

My brain rebels against me.

My body self-destructs.

When I say “I have diabetes”,

I get all the concern in the world.

When I hear comments,

they are compassionate and over protective.

But when I say “I have anxiety”,

the response is wrong.

Why?

Is it because my anxiety is mild?

Is it because my panic is quiet?

Close, but not quite normal?

I have no pills to swallow,

there are no open panic attacks.

All I have is anxiety.

When I say that,

what I experience becomes invalid.

What I feel becomes invalid.

I become invalid.

And it’s not just me-

I hear it everywhere.

Not anxious enough.

Not depressed enough.

Not traumatized enough.

Not hurt enough.

Why are we like that?

Why is it the degree of pain that validates?

I feel pain.

But why is my physical pain valid,

when my emotions are not?

I don’t understand.

This makes no sense.

Philosophically, I can trace social thought-

separation of mind and body,

human soul in meat machine,

but when did that switch?

When did the body outweigh the mind?

This idea feels wrong.

The mind should be protected.

Valued.

Loved.

Then maybe the pain can finally end.

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